I wanted to throw a post on now because on Monday I won’t have computer access. So here it is! It’s called Exersaucer and was the first song written during the four hour Feast Challenge that also produced songs #29-32. As a result, this is a quick, spur of the moment recording so it’s rather scratchy – not much time in front of the mic this week.

My coworker is having a baby next month, and all of us chipped in to get her this Exersaucer as a gift. This song was written before all of the drama that ensued in purchasing said Exersaucer, when I thought it would be as simple as going to the store and picking one out. In the end, my coworker was very happy with the Exersaucer, but I’m rather glad that another songwriter on 50/90 plans to cover this as a death metal song, incorporating my new Vendetta against Zellers.

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Exersaucer
I bought my friend’s baby an exersaucer
I bought my friend’s baby and exersaucer
So he can fly across the milky way

I got it at the local Toys ‘R Us
I got it at the local Toys ‘R Us
Where I was sorely tempted by the Star Wars stuff

Spin the monkey, flail your little feet
Spit up twice and hit the parakeet
Cry, cry, cry! ‘cuz you’re a baby

Even though you ain’t seen the world quite yet
Even though you ain’t seen the world quite yet
In a few more weeks you’ll be flying cross the milky way

Comments (2) Aug 23 2008

This week’s song owes its roots to the Random Collaboration Challenge on the 50 Songs in 90 Days website, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. I was thrilled when the challenge came up because I’ve been wanting to do more collaborations, and I was even more thrilled that my random collab partner was Nancy Rost! Nancy is a huge presence in our online community and I’ve always looked up to her – she is a brilliant songwriter and singer with a wonderful weird streak, and has mad piano and banjo skills to boot! I encourage everyone to visit her website and have a listen to more of her musical goodness. You can also check out her very quirky cover of last week’s Chocolat Chaud!

We knew that we wanted to do a duet with different perspectives when Nancy happened to say that she was “more urban than suburban” and I thought that “urban-suburban” was really catchy. We temporarily abandoned the more serious ideas we had and ran with this one, picturing a jazzy-musical theatre argument song.

We wrote the lyrics together in google docs, then each wrote a section of the music. Nancy sent me an MP3 of the piano and her main vocal which I used to record my main line and the background vocals. I mixed the harmonies, and then sent the whole thing back to her for more mixing. The whole process took a few weeks.

In actual fact, Nancy is the urbanite (Madison, WI) while I live in the suburbs outside Toronto. We flipped a coin to see who would sing what, which is why we’re reversed!

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Urban/Suburban

Suburbanite:
Oh, how nice to hear from you!
How’s the city treating you?
Wow, I don’t know how you cope
Are your neighbors selling dope?
Don’t the roaches make you sick?
Man, you’re one intrepid chick

Urbanite:
Oh, how nice to hear from you!
Glad the suburb’s suiting you
Wow, I don’t know how you do it
I grew up there – I said “screw it”
Don’t the streets all look the same?
Sounds like life there’s pretty tame

Together:
Why don’t you understand
I love it where I am
I love the …
U: Lively pace
S: Closet space!
U: Metropass
S: Yards with grass
U: Haute cuisine
S: Potluck scene

Together:
Tell me if I have this right
In your home you find delight in …
U: Long commutes!
S: Garbage chutes!
S: Subs and doms!
U: Soccer moms!
U: Picket fences
S: You’re pretentious!

Together:
I’m hearing your words but I don’t get how you can endure it
I can’t fathom why, now why would you ever choose it
I’ll tell you again you’re way better off being

U: Urban!
S: Suburban!
U: Urban!
S: Suburban!
U: Urban!
S: Suburban!

Together:
Oh, how nice to hear from you
How I’ve missed these chats with you
When can I come visit you?

Comments (3) Aug 17 2008

I’m really excited for you to hear these songs, but they will make much more sense if I place them in context. I’m not sure if people are interested in hearing about the songwriting process, so if you aren’t then feel free to skip ahead.

I was privileged to be involved in a podcast on Saturday hosted by Charlie Cheney, who is another songwriter on the 50/90 website. If you’ve got time after getting through this post, I highly recommend checking it out (I come on at 4 minutes and talk to him for about 10). I hadn’t really thought of this before talking about it during the podcast, but I realized that I am very meticulous when it comes to both writing and recording, despite the fact that these songwriting formats I participate in have considerable time constraints. I wanted to experiment and see if I could work in a different way, which is why I decided I would take my lazy Sunday and devote it to the “Feast” challenge.

“Feast” is the latest breath of insanity to come out of 50/90: to write and record as many songs as you possibly can within 4 hours. Within these incredibly rushed and strange parameters, things can get a little twisted.

During my “Hummusfeast” I wrote and did very quick recordings of 7 songs and I’m going to post my 3 favourites because they are quite short. It works out well because it also catches me up for the weeks I missed.

Chocolat Chaud (#3) was inspired by the first French lesson I gave my friend at a local Starbucks. Formate (#5) comes thanks to the “Random Article” function on Wikipedia. Finally, Inertia (#6) was written in about 5 minutes, with thanks to songwriter Tim Wille who encouragingly typed “Don’t Stop!”

Let me know what you think of the Hummus!

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Chocolat Chaud

I want some chocolat chaud, please!
I want some chocolat chaud, please!
A big one, with soymilk, but not whipped cream!
I want some chocolat chaud, please!

Fait attention! Now since we’re studying French
There are a few things you should know about the prononciation
of “chocolat chaud”. “Ch” while correct when speaking English is actually pronouced “Sh”. And you don’t pronounce the “t” and the “d” at the end of “chocolat” and “chaud”. Got it?

Je voudrais un chocolat chaud!
Je voudrais un chocolat chaud!
Grand, avec du lait de soya, pas de creme!
Je voudrais un chocolat chaud!
Je voudrais un chocolat chaud!

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Formate

Formate or methanoate is the ion HCOO− (formic acid minus one hydrogen ion). It is the simplest carboxylate anion. A formate (compound) is a salt or ester of formic acid.

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Inertia

Don’t stop! Don’t stop!
Don’t stop! Don’t stop!
Don’t stop! Don’t stop!
Don’t stop! Don’t stop!

Don’t stop the music, or the muse will flee you,
Don’t stop the rhythm or the beat will leave you!

Comments (10) Aug 10 2008

I wrote this song back in February, but knew the instant I finished it that I would have to save it for a very special occasion. After six months of waiting, that occasion happened this weekend: The Sixth Annual Toilet Toss!

In case you have not heard of this momentous event, let me explain. Six years ago after their bathroom was renovated, my friend Greg and his brother Jeff decided to give their old toilet a grand send off, so they did the only thing that made sense. They threw it off their garage roof and watched as it smashed onto the driveway below. Out of the porcelain shards, Toilet Toss was born and has become a longstanding tradition of summer.

If you’d like to see Toilet Tossing in action, check out:
James’ Documentary – all you’d want to know about Toilet Toss!
Toilet Toss 2007 – a short video of all the tosses
Toilet Toss 2008 – a longer video that Adam and I put together, also featuring this song!

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The Melodious Toilet of Doom

Disclaimer: This song has swearing in it. I meant to rerecord the main line to take some of it out, but after getting my ears blown out by the headset feedback, I decided to post it as it.

Oh shit, my toilet’s all backed up
And I’ve only got one bathroom
And pretty soon I know I’ll have to go
Oh crap, I’m fucking screwed!



It wasn’t me, I hope you know

Even though I live alone 

Someone broke in
and parked their rump

And took a giant colossal dump!


I’m in my boots I’m trying to flush
I’m getting soaked in soggy mush

Toilet’s exploding on the floor

With water seeping out the door!



Oh shit, my toilet’s all backed up
And I’ve only got one bathroom

And now I think I kind of have to go

Oh crap I’m fucking screwed




It wasn’t me, don’t be absurd

It must be you who dropped that turd
Now I’m afraid to eat or drink

Don’t want to use the kitchen sink!



It was the toilet paper in the bowl

Got stuck in the toilet hole

It sucked up water like a sponge

3! 2! 1! Plunge!!!





Oh shit, my toilet’s all backed up
I’ve got one bathroom
and my plunger’s stuck
And now I definitely have to go

Oh crap, I’m fucking screwed!





It wasn’t me, I swear, it’s true
It’s just this dumb defective loo

I’m so distraught, I’m at a loss

This toilet’s meant for toilet toss!



Oh shit, my toilet’s all backed up

I’ve got one bathroom
and my plunger’s stuck

And now I really really really have to go

Oh crap, I’m fucking screwed!

Comments (6) Aug 04 2008